A Recovery Poem

I am fire.

I am forgiveness

I am the crisp air on a California beach

I breathe love in my lungs.

And carry hope in my bones

I am light.

That extinguishes the dark.

I am dawn

And I rise from every midnight

In the pitch I hear the screams.

The echos of my former dreams

Calling me

Reminding me of who I wanted to be

And I sit , dancing in the dark

Laughing at the fight

I should not have fought

Because who I wanted to be

Is not who I am

And who I am now.

Is no longer damned

I was wrapped in this shroud

Suffocating on notions

"I was such a good person"

And I'd drown in the ocean

The ocean of thoughts

Telling me I'm no good

I heard his voice so loud

And then I heard hers

So I laughed a bit louder

So that they might hear

And when I no longer heard them

I screamed scanning the air

"I am where I belong

I've always been where I belong.

Walking these hallways

And singing that song.

The beauty is the journey

And how I choose to dance

Down this winding road

With so many paths

So scream all you want.

All of your obscenities

And try to break me down

But this fortress you will not seige

I am strength.

I am hope

I am a phoenix ; alive"

And as I stood there , they came into focus.

So I could look in their eyes

"This night I am free.

So come sit with me.

There's been something on my mind.

And I must say I am relieved."

They never looked so solemn

As they did in that moment.

When I smiled so bright.

And said something so true.

"It's okay , I am alive.

I forgive you."

Kat is very active in the online eating disorder recovery community and is a body postive warrior